I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
