Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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