Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
