On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
