I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
