I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
