Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
