he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
