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My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize