he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
