BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
