I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
