Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
