i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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