My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
