Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
