i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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