So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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