whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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