i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize