you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
