The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
