was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
