holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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