He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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