Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
