We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
