I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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