is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
