My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
