Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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