please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
