Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize