I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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