he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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