I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
