Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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