shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize