New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
