i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
