hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
