I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
