No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
