She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
