ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize