I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
