Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
