i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
