Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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