Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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