i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
