i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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