I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
