Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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