Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
