You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
