btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
