oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
