i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
