i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
