I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
